I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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