I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
