You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
