nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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