have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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