Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Randomize