Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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