Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
