1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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