Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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