Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
