you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
