Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
