Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
