U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
