Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
its not stalking. its research.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
