how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize