I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
