Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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