the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So vagazzling was a success
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
