Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
