i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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