I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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