Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
