My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
