i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
