Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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