just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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