So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
