i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize