I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
