please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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