doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
