just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
