If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
