He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bring me that man meat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
