You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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