I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
