is your mom at the bar?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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