Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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