i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
