is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
