I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
