$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
