i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
