im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
