I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Panties = found
Randomize
