I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
A bitchslap is in order.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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