If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
