i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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