Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
