my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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