Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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