A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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