let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize