I need to stop coming to work sober
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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