I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
