yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize