Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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