Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
