Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The power of my boobs compel you
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
