Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
