So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
