Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
