Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize